and there it is. :) Enjoy!
I will show more in the future, okay?
Anyway, special thanks to Yenyi for putting up the Boys Like Girls feat Taylor Swift - Two is Better than One official music video. I totally enjoyed it nonetheless they didn't featured Tay inside. I'm super grateful that its up and I finally got to update myself with music since I have been ditching MTV and [V] Channel and also E! News.
I've been hearing it for the 17th times now. Haha, I know I'm crazy. Although the director of that music video is kinda messy - like clashing the past, the present and the band. No matter how it goes, the music is fantastic-ly fabulous.
I would let my children hear that everyday lol. I don't know, somehow I'm reflecting this song with myself. I felt like crying for some reason and having the urge, to call everyone in my phone book and tell them I love them and let me know if they're lonely. Cause I am.
This morning... after making blended banana with soya, I went up and thinking what should I do to keep me awake. And my sister got me addicted to this time management, stressy-nerve wrecking game. My body failed me and I fell asleep around 10 AM. And I woke up at 6 PM, dreamless. Which was a good thing. :)
Tay's website is not updating anything which is giving me retarded moment cause who might think that she's like GONE from Hollywood or something. :O! Pssh, I'm thinking stupidly. Of course she'll be A-OK. She has tons of bodyguards, dammit.
Okay, let me check again.
You know what? I shouldn't have done that. It literally kaput-ted my laptop.
I got nervous last night. One word: school. Yes, I got nervous and panicked. I'm like picturing every shit during 2010. And I don't feel ready to grow up any yet. Time is so fast. So bloody fast that I'm regretting it right now. And yeah! Remind me to wash my school tie. I knew how people reacted to my filthy tie. Even Yenyi offered me to let her wash my dirty tie. LOL.
What else? Yes, I'm gonna talk to Nevin about my unwanted books. And you know, think twice about which subjects I'm gonna choose. Wisely, of course. According to me, obviously. No one is gonna to decide for me. Planned not to go ART stream. Like PURE art. Some people was taken aback that I decided not take that subject.
The 'ART' in our school is beyond different from what I wanted. Huh, I don't even know how to color my art block. Even planning them, strict decision on the colors and abstract and object. Seriously, this thing is not my type. Too bad our school art is not that professional with all the easel and big canvas. The facility is going so bad. Even choir room is gone. I don't possess any talent of singing but I enjoy doing it. And they destroyed that hobby. Who the hell sings in the meeting room!?
Since Choir Club is going so bad, I will make another choice to another club then. Sorry. Although I gave my word to them that I will be their member till I die but its not gonna happen now with that kind of situation. I'm sorry to be selfish. Even the guys in the club suck so bad. They just talk talk talk, chit chit chit. GAH! Our teacher - the choir teacher isn't that fierce. Well, don't be or I'll run away.
And about the ART thingy. I decided not to take it although how much I enjoy it. Its not that easy to you know commit to something which is difficult. Karen says it easy that makes me wanna go there and don't look back. But now, I'm thinking about the consequences. I will die on the first day. It will be stressful and what next? Happiness that I accomplished something? No, I won't. Regret comes first.
To be honest, I don't even have the talent nor the passion. I felt like a dumb bitch who's trying to do what I can't do. Especially it comes towards the smarties. I felt intimidated. VERY. God, I'm getting the fever again. I'm a good-for-nothing person. I kept thinking I was created, for purpose. But I see nothing I can do. I asked Jason once, "Do you think guys like dumb girls?" And he answered, "Don't say that but I think you have the looks, its okay edi."
THAT, struck me painfully. So painful that I couldn't stand looking at myself. I'm desperately trying to find any hidden talents out from me. What the hell am I GOOD at? God.. I asked my friends from the outer world this, "What are my talents?" It was out of the sudden and some of them just said, "You shop ALOT." Which the other meaning... "You spend money a lot." Its like boom.
I felt useless, worthless, aimless, pointless, hopeless type of person. I want to be useful, worthy, aimed, point-ly, hopeful type of person. But no, it failed me entirely.
How to make myself worthy and proud of myself?
Nothing.
So I gotta confide with my siblings about my decision and choices. Then during PMR results, regret for like 24 hours then dust everything off and look forward and register my courses. I don't think 24 hours would be enough... for my parents. Maybe 20 days. Just hope everything goes well. Just hope...
How much have I talked ? Haha, seriously. What is wrong with me? I'm such a killer-joy. Oh, screw me!
I think that would be all for tonight. Oh, its 2:23 AM here. :)
"Wee hours of the morning." - Mrs J.C Liew, head English department of SSB.
HAHA, I wonder how are my teachers right now. Hope they're in good health.
I'm gonna miss being 15 during 2009. I'm gonna miss everything. My friends, my attitude, my behavior, my holidays, my exams, everything in 2009... I will officially say goodbye to you during Yenyi's B'day party. If I'm invited. If I'm not then I'll drink some white wine with the moon and stare at the blasted fireworks smiling colorfully at me. What a smirk. Happy that 2009 is gone?
My brother will be gone on the 31st and I think my parents would be out too. My sister must have party with her 2007 years. Oh dear Ah Fook, you'll be 8 next year eh? Same age with my dear homely and cozy house. I'll be home alone, drinking anything I find, and sit outside at the car porch and let everyone stare at me. I will wear a dress, I guess. Pamper myself, alone. Haha. Thank gosh Ah Fook is still here. At least, for me. I don't feel that much alone.
When I hear, Happy New Year screams then I will go inside my house and do something profitable. Like.. play some PS3 games. Since no one would be online on the very special day. Send text messages to my dear friends... And when I head to bed, I will think of all the things happened during 2009... and snuggle with Ah Fook and Juliet. (my giraffe.)
Wow, what a plan! I don't have any love ones to spend with that time. LOL. I might just spend the night alone rather than disturbing other people's special night. Right, that's something then. Will do that on the 31st.
Ah, watch some comedy movies! That would be entertaining. Laugh all by myself. Yeah, lol.
2 weeks left. Do it well, SK.
So till then. I bid you good night.
-SK-
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